Showing posts with label teen titans. Show all posts
Showing posts with label teen titans. Show all posts

5/12/08

Last Week in Comics (late)

DCUniverse #0

Looks good.

Eat it. Internets.

Escarabajo Azul #26

Bueno!

I’m proud to say I got most of the story by using my drunken grasp of High School Spanish. Only to find the translation in the back afterwards.

Still, I did okay even if the translation apparently is… muy malo? That confuses me, wouldn’t you have gotten a native speaker to write the all-Spanish issue?

Is this just the difference between Mexican and Spanish kind of bad translation? A Spanglish bad translation? Or is it just a bad translation? If it’s the last, that’s awful. Lucky me, I’m none the wiser and enjoyed it lots.

More important was seeing other creators “get” Jaime. That’s going to be important moving forward.

Green Lantern #30

Whoa, Hal Jordan is Green Lantern?!

Wow.

Oh, right, sorry: *spoilers*.

Teen Titans #58

Y'know, I pretty much forget what happens. Megan is nuts or something? B/c it was too much to ask to have a character on this team not consumed with world-breaking angst.

I dunno, I really don’t even have anything to say about it. I probably need to stop reading b/c it runs as hot and cold as I do.

Here, Jon say something prescient for me.

Teen Titans: Year One #5

Still a lot of fun, although it confuses me why this series is still going.

Everybody loves Robin? Of course they do. Maybe Antithesis will use that as conflict for the next time it rears its ugly head? I dunno.

That said, I would absolutely read an ongoing in this setting. Like X-Men: First Class. It’s twenty times more delightful than the actual Teen Titans.

This part is cute all over:


“Not-t en-enough g-gun.”

We’re all having fun painting Garth* as the Goofus of the sea and all. But seriously, Garth was never like this in the Teen Titans. Nor as pathetic as Waid’s recent Brave and the Bold.

You want some classic Garth?


“Who’s Gallant now, Dick?!”

There’s some classic Garth. All Jew-fro and handsome, punching out Dicks who don’t lend a hand. Now that’s good Aqualad.

Avengers: Initiative#12

A new Artist at this stage in the game was a bad idea. Keeping everything pat for all 12 issues could only have made the framing of this series more kickass.

With that said, the framing of this series was kickass.

Compare the last panel of this issue to the first panel of the first issue. Now shed a single tear for you have seen the mountain, and it was good.

So, do we move right onto the next class or what? I kind of want more on these characters, but I’ll definitely be sticking around.

New Avengers#40

Two Avengers issues (New/Mighty) without a single Avenger in them and huge tracts of back-story. Wasn’t there sort of a promise (as there always is) that reading everything wouldn’t be necessary?

Not if you don't mind missing everything. (sigh). Anyway, I hope Final Crisis is better about that.

Despite this, it was pretty awesome. Both Avengers issues read as Secret Invasion issues 1.a and 1.b, but its all great so far.

Random scene that made me laugh:

“So, are you bad cop, or…?”

Legion of Superheroes #41

There were a few neat tricks herein, like hiding so well, you're discovered by being too hidden. That’s cool.

Also, this was one of many funny moments of the issue:


Braniac 5 is officially the bee’s tits.

Now let’s get into the real meat and potatoes issue of the week. This:


“But slavery is illegal in UP space… oooooooooh.”

And my knee jerked.

It took me some talking through before I came to peace with why my knee jerked.

Listen, I’ve heard harsher requests come out of girl’s mouths before. It’s not the frank invitation to obliterate her uterus that bothers me, necessarily—actually I’m more bothered by the internet presumption this makes Imra submissive, or a bottom. Imra is telling Garth* to own her… all but ordering. That’s not submissive.

Nor is Imra asking Garth to tie her up and electrocute her; Imra is asking Garth to throw her around the pillows and give her a 24 hour limp. That’s as fair as things get in love and war.

I can make any amount of justifications for this being perfectly in line with Imra’s character (actually, resident Legion expert hza helped come up with several that are quite convincing) but, frankly, I shouldn’t have to. I shouldn’t have to read this in the first place.

My problems are thus:

First: LoSH is one of the few books I would otherwise recommend to anyone. Now I’m hesitant. I think Light Lass taking Karate Kid to her bed “just ‘cause” is perfectly fine. I got no problem with Shooter admitting kids have the sex. They do. Apparently he was revolutionary back on his original runs of the series by showing characters in bed.

But that’s just it, showing a couple in bed (or inviting each other to bed) is one thing; having one ask the other to jackhammer her womb until she supernovas like the three suns of Cargg is quite another. If (presumably) grown men and women read this and think BDSM, I’m less convinced that a teen/tween/pre-tween is going to understand the nuance at play in this panel and that it’s only nice to “own” girls who ask nicely.

Second, and this is the bigger one: This is private talk. If a girl-friend said this to a boy-friend in front of me, I’d feel just as uncomfortable. I don’t need to be thinking about my girl-friend that way. Similarly, Imra and Garth are my friends, and I don’t need to know how they get down on Titan on a Wednesday night. I just don’t. I feel like I walked in on this scene and should excuse myself before the pwning begins b/c that wasn’t for me to hear.

Ultimately, the panel is just a set-up for an otherwise funny scene where not only does Imra not get owned, she gets kicked out of bed entirely in favor of some alien asskicking what needs a’doing.

However most of the last half of the book is a blur as I kept wondering if I should go back in there and apologize or would that only make it more uncomfortable for all of us?

I dunno, maybe I’m being prudish in my old age, but I felt this crossed an invisible line.



Oh well, there it is. I’ve got to slap some clamps on my nipples, hook them up to a car battery and get some other work done. Until next time, that’s my comics story and I’m sticking to it.
*Not to be confused with Lightning Lad
**Not to be confused with Aqualad


3/31/08

Last Week in Comics

Deadlines, deadlines, deadlines. A few more down, a few more to go. I can’t promise I can reliably speak, read or write English anymore, but here goes nothing, and by nothing, I mean: Week Old Comic Reviews!



Countdown #5

Who cares? Glad to see the Great Disaster, only it's clearly not on earth so this is just a waste.

Understand that the Great Disaster could be an awesome story. An unseen sliver of the pre-Crisis DCU. But I just said it right there, no? Pre-Crisis. Not this world or any of the four reboots since.

Was the hope to bring back the multiverse and immediately make us sick of it so we’d want it destroyed again? B/c Final Crisis looks more and more like it’s going to be more about the birth of the Fifth World than multiversal reboots.

So, yeah—buh—what?

Countdown to Adventure #8

meh.

The main story turns out okay, but is little more than a set piece. The primary struggles of the characters were entirely ignorable. Did anyone really believe Buddy had a hard-on for Kori? Are there any two characters with less chemistry? (Although, really, Kori is a chemistry killer). Conversely and more to the point, we all know Buddy to be a family man. And we all knew Rann would learn their lesson in the end, so where did this really go? I’d like to think this story amounted to more than an uncompleted post-script to 52, but I’m not so sure.

Will the Rann/Thanagar: Holy War be any better than the previous go-nowhere stories about this apparently ongoing conflict that seems to stop the minute we take our eyes off it? Does that mean Rann didn’t learn their lesson?

meh.

It was not the worst of the “Countdown to 52 Crossovers” I read, but it wasn’t the best either.

The backup story is full-on retarded. It’s like they forgot they had made this Forerunner character and not-so-quickly recovered by trimming some of Beechen's word count. Forerunner's little space piratey adventure served to explore and illuminate nothing whatsoever. Am I supposed to be happy for her in the end? You know it would help if she had any character to be happy for.

Stories aren’t just things that happen to things. Stories are events with beginnings, middlings and endings that usually progress in a satisfying way until the subject reaches some form of catharsis and/or overcomes something. The reader should generally feel a sense of accomplishment that required this story to do so.

It’s like I’m talking to myself over here.

Green Lantern #29

Cool enough little ditty. A retelling of Hal’s origin, I guess we're in a reiterating origins kind of time. Will this actually tell us anything new or is it just pulling all the bits together so we can all get the jokes contained in Johns’ love letter to that story Alan Moore wrote?

I actually consider this a wasted opportunity. Shouldn’t this be called Green Lantern: Year One and sold for $2.99? Since when are we afraid to sell more books?

I’m not telling DC how to run their business… oh wait, yeah I am.

Legion of Superheroes #40

Continuing a fine tradition of being really cool. Again, LoSH does everything Teen Titans should be doing and doing it better.

It’s a really fun book, and after two issues of presenting Lightning Lad as only slightly smarter than a steel ingot, we get to see why he’s a good leader anyhows:


”Now go to your rooms.”

A lot of fun is had with the original Wolverine, exploring the whys and hows behind the danger of having a barely contained psychotic on your team.


”snikt bub snikt snikt.”

Also… does Jim Shooter have a crush on Karate Kid, or do I?


I believe the term is “woof”.

I love how Triplicate Girl is telling her own self to hush.

Teen Titans #57

Is Rose psychic? Precognitive? Has she always been? Really?


”Really-really?”

This issue spoke a little more of going somewhere, and involved words like believe-in-each-other, benefit-of-the-doubt, and giving-a-fuck-about-Eddie. That's a nice change of pace. Let's do more of that.

McKeever talked me off the ledge a little here. But just a little. Ultimately I can’t fathom not reading a Teen Titans book if one is available, but it has to be better than this. Rose came off as well as intended I’d wager --which is only slightly better than Eliza Dushku* trying to be Faith from Buffy.


”But I’m telling you it doesn’t matter –wait? Did you just have feelings?”

Is it ironic that Wonder Girl is worried about maintaining her new Secret ID enough to yell at Robin for not using it, while talking bald-faced about Titans' business?

"Holy crap is that Wonder Girl and Robin? Oh, no, it's just that new girl Drusilla talking to Tim Drake about being in the Teen Titans."


”Right. Because it’s secret, Robin.”

*My hate for Eliza Dushku is compounded only by how tough she’s trying to act at any given moment.

Mighty Avengers #11

Y'know, I think I stopped reading this last month and forgot. So I read it again this month. I probably should've just skipped it. Not b/c it's bad--it's quite good even--just b/c I don't need it. It's popcorn at best. But hey, sometimes Popcorn is nice.

I’m at least a little glad I picked this up, otherwise I would’ve totally missed Doom gettin’ snippy wit it:


”Fatty fatty two by four, can't fit through the bathroom door!”

Man, someone should've made a "your mom" joke. That would've shut him up.

Since I missed last issue, I had a lot less idea of what was going on. Lucky for me, Doctor Doom is an exposition machine!


(…and then in 1974, Richards totally made with this girl I swear I had a shot with... RICHARDS!!)

I mean that literally. This is a Doom Bot set to catch up any readers that happen by. I understand this feature is present at all Latverian Embassies as well. Unfortunately, they're all programmed by Claremont.

Marty’s Predictable Pick of the Week
Blue Beetle #25

Holy Awesome.

When last we left our hero

It would be folly to try and encapsulate all the Holy Awesome herein. But let’s try a photo-respective:

How I Spent My Summer Vacation


By Jaime Reyes


”Tell your friends”

Is this the most-scanned panel of the week? Probably. Where can I get numbers on that?


”Heard you were some alien hybrid human weapon thing.”
”Got better. Heard your original copyright got pulled.”
”You’re thinking of Pete Cannon.”
"Oh yeah? What happened to him?"
"I think he's dead, actually."

The DCU doesn’t have enough of these conversations, quite frankly.


"Hey C-block --I mean, Fire. I said Fire."

If you want to write an all-new JLI, Rogers, just say so. I'll vote for you.


”You know what, vato, I think we’re gonna skip right over ‘walkin’ softly’. Comprende?”

Best. Supporting. Cast. Ever.


”Hey scarab –scarab? How do you say ‘eat shit and die’in Reachspeak?”

Man, this one little panel speaks volumes. Artfully done.


”Mi Familia.”

It warms the heart. And dig Guy in the background.


”I love the smell of burgers in the morning. Smells like… victory.”

Yeah, everything seems to check out here. All awesome, all the time.

There are at least two big moments I’m not spoiling, even though I really-really wanna. On the off-chance that you haven’t read it yet, but are still reading this, but are gonna read it. Or something.

Thank you again, Mr. Rogers. It’s been a hell of a ride.

Next issue, Traci 13 meets the family. In spanish!



That’s my comics story and I’m sticking to it.