5/12/08

Last Week in Comics (late)

DCUniverse #0

Looks good.

Eat it. Internets.

Escarabajo Azul #26

Bueno!

I’m proud to say I got most of the story by using my drunken grasp of High School Spanish. Only to find the translation in the back afterwards.

Still, I did okay even if the translation apparently is… muy malo? That confuses me, wouldn’t you have gotten a native speaker to write the all-Spanish issue?

Is this just the difference between Mexican and Spanish kind of bad translation? A Spanglish bad translation? Or is it just a bad translation? If it’s the last, that’s awful. Lucky me, I’m none the wiser and enjoyed it lots.

More important was seeing other creators “get” Jaime. That’s going to be important moving forward.

Green Lantern #30

Whoa, Hal Jordan is Green Lantern?!

Wow.

Oh, right, sorry: *spoilers*.

Teen Titans #58

Y'know, I pretty much forget what happens. Megan is nuts or something? B/c it was too much to ask to have a character on this team not consumed with world-breaking angst.

I dunno, I really don’t even have anything to say about it. I probably need to stop reading b/c it runs as hot and cold as I do.

Here, Jon say something prescient for me.

Teen Titans: Year One #5

Still a lot of fun, although it confuses me why this series is still going.

Everybody loves Robin? Of course they do. Maybe Antithesis will use that as conflict for the next time it rears its ugly head? I dunno.

That said, I would absolutely read an ongoing in this setting. Like X-Men: First Class. It’s twenty times more delightful than the actual Teen Titans.

This part is cute all over:


“Not-t en-enough g-gun.”

We’re all having fun painting Garth* as the Goofus of the sea and all. But seriously, Garth was never like this in the Teen Titans. Nor as pathetic as Waid’s recent Brave and the Bold.

You want some classic Garth?


“Who’s Gallant now, Dick?!”

There’s some classic Garth. All Jew-fro and handsome, punching out Dicks who don’t lend a hand. Now that’s good Aqualad.

Avengers: Initiative#12

A new Artist at this stage in the game was a bad idea. Keeping everything pat for all 12 issues could only have made the framing of this series more kickass.

With that said, the framing of this series was kickass.

Compare the last panel of this issue to the first panel of the first issue. Now shed a single tear for you have seen the mountain, and it was good.

So, do we move right onto the next class or what? I kind of want more on these characters, but I’ll definitely be sticking around.

New Avengers#40

Two Avengers issues (New/Mighty) without a single Avenger in them and huge tracts of back-story. Wasn’t there sort of a promise (as there always is) that reading everything wouldn’t be necessary?

Not if you don't mind missing everything. (sigh). Anyway, I hope Final Crisis is better about that.

Despite this, it was pretty awesome. Both Avengers issues read as Secret Invasion issues 1.a and 1.b, but its all great so far.

Random scene that made me laugh:

“So, are you bad cop, or…?”

Legion of Superheroes #41

There were a few neat tricks herein, like hiding so well, you're discovered by being too hidden. That’s cool.

Also, this was one of many funny moments of the issue:


Braniac 5 is officially the bee’s tits.

Now let’s get into the real meat and potatoes issue of the week. This:


“But slavery is illegal in UP space… oooooooooh.”

And my knee jerked.

It took me some talking through before I came to peace with why my knee jerked.

Listen, I’ve heard harsher requests come out of girl’s mouths before. It’s not the frank invitation to obliterate her uterus that bothers me, necessarily—actually I’m more bothered by the internet presumption this makes Imra submissive, or a bottom. Imra is telling Garth* to own her… all but ordering. That’s not submissive.

Nor is Imra asking Garth to tie her up and electrocute her; Imra is asking Garth to throw her around the pillows and give her a 24 hour limp. That’s as fair as things get in love and war.

I can make any amount of justifications for this being perfectly in line with Imra’s character (actually, resident Legion expert hza helped come up with several that are quite convincing) but, frankly, I shouldn’t have to. I shouldn’t have to read this in the first place.

My problems are thus:

First: LoSH is one of the few books I would otherwise recommend to anyone. Now I’m hesitant. I think Light Lass taking Karate Kid to her bed “just ‘cause” is perfectly fine. I got no problem with Shooter admitting kids have the sex. They do. Apparently he was revolutionary back on his original runs of the series by showing characters in bed.

But that’s just it, showing a couple in bed (or inviting each other to bed) is one thing; having one ask the other to jackhammer her womb until she supernovas like the three suns of Cargg is quite another. If (presumably) grown men and women read this and think BDSM, I’m less convinced that a teen/tween/pre-tween is going to understand the nuance at play in this panel and that it’s only nice to “own” girls who ask nicely.

Second, and this is the bigger one: This is private talk. If a girl-friend said this to a boy-friend in front of me, I’d feel just as uncomfortable. I don’t need to be thinking about my girl-friend that way. Similarly, Imra and Garth are my friends, and I don’t need to know how they get down on Titan on a Wednesday night. I just don’t. I feel like I walked in on this scene and should excuse myself before the pwning begins b/c that wasn’t for me to hear.

Ultimately, the panel is just a set-up for an otherwise funny scene where not only does Imra not get owned, she gets kicked out of bed entirely in favor of some alien asskicking what needs a’doing.

However most of the last half of the book is a blur as I kept wondering if I should go back in there and apologize or would that only make it more uncomfortable for all of us?

I dunno, maybe I’m being prudish in my old age, but I felt this crossed an invisible line.



Oh well, there it is. I’ve got to slap some clamps on my nipples, hook them up to a car battery and get some other work done. Until next time, that’s my comics story and I’m sticking to it.
*Not to be confused with Lightning Lad
**Not to be confused with Aqualad


5/1/08

Free Secret Comic Book Universe Invasion Day Zer0




Be buying DC Universe 0.

For less than the cost of a can of soda you get to see what’s coming up in the DCU this year, and it looks fucking great: As we speak I’m trying to talk myself out of buying Batman R.I.P. but the preview looks rock solid. Legion of Three Worlds looks out of this world… no pun intended... until now. And Wonder Woman could use a little direction to ensure maximum ass-kickery from the purloined pen of Ms. Gail Simone. (*)

Really, with DC stashing a bunch of spring-loaded awesome on their syllabus and Bendis breaking bad with Skrull-fuck after Skrull-fuck over Marvel way, it should be a good year to be a comics fan... as opposed to last year which was a huge fucking letdown.

What's to prevent this from being a huge fucking letdown?

Nothing, I'll grant you. But with DC not trying so hard, and learning all the right lessons from Sinestro Corps War. And Bendis subversively kick-starting Secret Invasion without telling anyone (thus avoiding Marvel Editorial's recent rash of nigh-incompetence) I think the next year is in good hands.

Also support your local comic shop on Free Comic Book Day, net some free comics, pick up a free Iron Man HeroClix figure, and maybe bring an extra 50 cents to have your fanboy/girl balls/uterus kicked in by two of the best names in comics today.

Yeah, yeah, I just called Morrison and Johns two of the best in comics. Even I can’t deny them at this point.

Yea though I reserve the right to hate them unmerciful should they falter even a little.


*Oh, yeah, and you know who kind of comes back to life, so there's that.


4/28/08

Last Week in Comics

Maybe I’m just in a better mood than I have been in awhile? Maybe I’ve refined my comic purchases to only the best and brightest? Either way, this was an enjoyable week in comics all-told. Let’s get to the reviewin’ while I have a hot minute.





Countdown #1

What is left to say about Countdown that hasn’t already been said about the War in Iraq?

‘Nuff said.

*

Birds of Prey #117

An open letter to Sean McKeever: Please stay on this title.

I know it’s too late, but that’s my vote.

You made your choice to back Teen Titans, and I can only hope you’re right. So far, I have enjoyed your run on BoP significantly more than your Titans work. Plus you said you had long term plans for BoP in public, whereas I’ve heard no such plans for Titans.

If dropping one means the other will improve than I find it hard to deny you—I was just in a similar position and it hurts either way—but I’m sad to say I’m only an issue away from dropping Titans and Bedard did not impress me in his last outing on BoP.

This however was laugh-out-loud awesome:


“All of Barb’s emotional abuse finally pays off!”

The framing here is really inspired while acting as the requisite rock’n’roll moment. Truly this is a great pay-off in so many ways. If you insist on staying on Titans, can you have a few of these sooner than later?


“Then I’ma join a totalitarian version of the
Teen Titans and help Luthor rule the world!”


I’m just saying.

(sigh).

Checkmate #25

Wow.

Amazingly awestacular series finale! That’s right, the last issue ever.

Shame this underappreciated series dedicated to delivering kidney-punching rawesome (raw+awesome) has to come to an end at all. But there it is; as endings go, this one was pretty great.

Do yourself a favor and do not spoil this issue for yourself. It is perhaps the most shocking ending I have ever read. Yeah, ever. That’s what I said.

It’s a little slice of comics genius and I’m sad it’s all over.

Forever and ever.

(sigh).
Fucking Bruce Jones.

Death of the New Gods #8

AKA:

Even Superman is sad Checkmate is over.

This issue was pretty much awful.

I blame that on being robbed of the dignity of its ending and pushing that duty to the completely lackluster Countdown. Leaving too many pages to fill sans payoff: It’s an entire issue of Kirby-babble, over-the-top (to the point of incomprehensible) action and Superman getting knocked unconscious… a LOT.


“So this is what it feels like to be Hal Jordan.”

Seriously guys, I would mind less that you’re naming yourselves executors of DC-Kirby’s Last Will and Testament if you at least gave him a true memorial.

Instead it’s like I have to leave the memorial to go to a wake thrown by some High-School Kids who never met the man.

(sigh).

Justice League of America #20

Finally, an issue of JLA that rivaled an issue of JLU.

Wow, if only McDuffie was allowed to just write the JLA. We’d get more cool issues like this.

Too bad McDuffie will be drug into more crossover nonsense, like, immediately.

(sigh).

Well, we’ll always have Rosedale Arch:


“He then suggested Bart.”
“Jesus.”


Mighty Avengers #12

Best moment herein?

Nick Fury’s meeting with Maria Hill. I’m really hoping that gets called back. Maria really deserves a rock’n’roll moment.


“One of these days someone is gonna find your off button, Stark.
And when they do, I’m turning your pacemaker into my coffee machine.


Marty’s Pick of the Week
Wolverine: First Class

Wait a second… did Marty actually buy a book with Wolverine in it?

That advertised it had Wolverine in it?!

Where Wolverine featured in the title?

And it was the best book he read this week?!

Actually, it was the best two books I read this week—I caught up with issue one and two at the same time. I actually feel bad for the poor chumps who buy this book thinking it’s about Wolverine.

To dust off my best Claremontian pun: It’s all a matter of Pryde, people.


“You sure? I could be possessed by your demon-possessed ninja master, cut my hair and you could chase me around Japan?”

It’s unbe-frickin-lievably adorable and really takes me back. Remember when I was saying there was a time when Wolverine was almost a believable character? Yeah, it takes me back to then.

And it’s great.


“B-but, we have cake… and hats.”

(SIGH!)



*Alright, I got one thing to say: It’s worth mentioning that of the team with hubris enough to assign themselves as Monitor monitors: Donna is the only one of them who has a case to be there. That arguably has been her job this whole time. Am I seriously the only one who knows who Donna Troy is?

That’s my comics story and I’m sticking to it.

4/22/08

Best. Blog. Evar.

For the boys over at Second Printings who seem to believe they’re inventing positive comic blogging (just let them have it, they seem excited).

Bold words from some guys who haven’t strung together two blogs since 2007!

Says the guy who hasn’t strung two blogs together since 2007. (Shut up, get your own glass house).

Right, back to task... I bring you:

Top Five Favorite Comic Moments of All Time


Wow, where to even start? I mean, I can barely make any sense of that category. Moments? In comics? The moment I read them? The moment they were taken from head to page and birthed into creation? The moment they hit the “scene” and a generation of eager readers had their minds blown by the possibilities of sequential art?

Let’s be honest, “moments” are for the really-real world. So do I go with items like: The moment Kirby was born? The moment Levitz defied convention and invented the Levitz Paradigm? The moment a young Marv Wolfman realized “The Librarian” is kind of a gay name for a badguy? The moment Giffen stuck his head into Andrew Helfer’s office and said “Justisss League” that last time? The moment Grant Morrison smoked some hash in the mysterious alleys of Katmandu?

Nah, don’t over think it. Just go back in the vault, and remember when cracking the spine on some comics was a little slice of escapist awesomeness. All of which threatens to reveal I’m basically an old man who thinks comics were better in my day when they were printed on tree bark with dot matrix printers and only cost two playing cards a bite.

But here goes nothing in no particular order:

#5: The Day the Music Died on Infinite Earths



AKA The Spectre thumb wrestles the Antimonitor
for the Pink Slips of Time!!


Worlds would live, worlds would die and the DC Universe would never be the same again.

As a kid picking up comics from spinner racks at the Boardwalk, my cousin and I would look for the comics with the most heroes per capita. The most bang for your buck. This led us to some interesting choices such as the decidely un-banging All Star Squadron and Who’s Who but eventually led to Crisis on Infinite Earths.

Imagine that progression with me: We absorbed an entire universe worth of knowledge in time to watch it die. I think that’s why I am the only person on earth who identifies with (or even likes) Harbinger. Her story was damn close to mine.

Plus this undeniably epic series introduced me to future fanboy favorites such as Blue Beetle, Guy Gardner and Supergirl’s corpse.

It all but spoiled Geoff Johns and me forever. Unless worlds were living and dying and universes were changing forever, why was I wasting my time?

#4: Amy Winston’s 13th Birthday



”My parents got me the key to a magical kingdom that needs me to
cut school and make-out with older boys. What’d you get?”


The first comic that was my very own. I mean, I still don’t know anybody who read Amethyst as it was coming out (or who will admit it... or who didn't come out shortly afterward). But I was in love. She was an older girl at the time, it was okay.

Amy Winston lived every kid’s dream: To be adopted. Okay, I kid—but kind of not really. Not only was she adopted, but she was an adopted refugee princess from a faraway kingdom where she’s all growns up… and magic! Take that Batson!

Plus, it was the era of the 12 issue maxi-series, which provided me with an appreciation for comics that had endings pretty early on. Afterall, the ongoing spin-off series started strong, suffered immediate disassociative personality disorder, and limped out of the other side of the Crisis only to die a lingering death.

But we’ll always have the Maxi, the escapism, and her 13th Birthday.

#3: Booster Gold joins the Justice League.



“The Me Jennerashun is in ur comics, saving ur Justiss Leaks.”

Is the Cold War almost over, Mr. Reagan? I want to get off.

This was the second issue of Giffen’s League I bought. I missed #2 and #3* and skipped a lot of nuclear-terror fueled, thinly-veiled social commentary using tongue-in-cheek Avengers mock-ups…. I was probably better off.

But Booster? Booster was something else man. He was special in a way only a 12 year old could see. More than that, this is when the Giffen League became the Giffen League. I do appreciate those earliest issues now that I’m a little older and get what was going on. They’re really quite brilliant.

Despite the social commentary, consider two years previous that League line-up didn’t share an Earth in common. That's landmark comics right there. But to a 12 year old it was a book about: Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Captain Marvel and Batman.

Even if I knew half these characters only by their entries in Who’s Who or their requisite panel and a half in the Crisis, it was still a less than compelling team. I had read every appearance of Dr. Kimiyo Light at the time and even I didn’t care if she ever showed up again. Issue #4, though, #4 was something special. The Royal Flush Gang became my new favorite villains!

The idea that the entire issue was a publicity stunt to enable Max to gain a controlling interest on the team… blew my little frikkin’ mind, man. Plus, Beetle got the one thing he was missing: Someone to play off of.


“Now let’s do some blow and watch The Secret of My Success!”

*Way-Back Machine Trivia Time: Specialty shops were just starting kids! Few and far between and unreliable as hell! You could try your luck at the spinner rack; one week it was Batman and the Outsiders, the next week it was Strawberry Shortcake. And it was uphill both ways and we liked it!

#2: Illyana Rasputin: Grown and Fully Armored From the Head of Belasco!



“Claremont, take me away!”

And Emo Marty was born. Seriously, if there’s someone I had more of a crush on than Amy Winston, it was Illyana Rasputin. Oh, not like above. That’s gross, man, she’s a little girl for chris'sakes.

No, no, like this:


"Heavy Metal Music is f'reals!"

She was the New Mutants' resident beserker/loose cannon antiheroine. She was all brooding and doomed—and known for it! in an X-book known for brooding and doom! Oh man, she was the awesome-est! And best friend to Kitty Pryde—my other favoritest character of all time ever anon—to break up the tragic monotony every once in awhile.

Holy crap, Claremont was plum out of his mind and there was a time he could do no wrong with me. Simonson too, although I was always watching ‘Ouisy, she’d keep making Illyana shop and like boys. There was no time for shopping and boys, there was angsting to be done!

Note her juxtaposition in my fandom as basically "Dark Amethyst". Magically-aged, powerful sorceress chick who inherits a magical world… but only after taking it by force with a sword of pure hate she forged from her own angst to kick the Alaskan King Crap out of the devil…like…person…guy…!


Because that’s how swords of pure hate roll!

Did she just say she “staggered Wolvie”? Did she just call Wolverine, “Wolvie”? Yeah she did bitches, b/c at one time Wolverine was almost conceivably one man and sometimes got beat… but only when de-aged in an Annual, and even then only by another team berserker. Back when he was a nice guy who was good with kids. Sometimes too good.

So yeah, Illyana Rasputin kicked Wolverine’s ass, tell your friends.

Everything about Illyana was my best friend. She was just the right companion growing up for a young man with a dark side to nurse. Shit, those trench coats weren’t wearing themselves! If I didn’t hold onto the belief that my adolescent rage was so tragically unique it might cost me another piece of my soul before I’d snap and destroy my friends with my all-encompassing darkness, I wouldn’t have had anything to hold onto at all.

Her angst had its own crossover.


I remembered you too, Illyana. So, please don’t let Mr. Yost touch you anymore.

#1: Kingdom Come, Kingdom Go



“Is that the dream where I’m a pirate?? …I have an earring?”

To be fair, Kingdom Come nabs #1 chronologically as any other criteria. I will forever love Amy Winston more than I will love Kingdom Come, despite the latter’s overall better quality.

However, Kingdom Come saved comics. At least it saved comics for me.

The 90s showed us what happens when we go too far as a people. The horrors of when we dabble too much in trying to chase that bleeding edge. The evils of letting artists think they can write.

Kingdom Come swooped in and saved us all from Lobo wannabes melting the Helmet of Fate down into daggers. I know it saved Power Girl. It reminded us what heroes are supposed to look like; what comic books are supposed to be; who Power Girl was—well, come on, she got knocked up with some sorcerous apocalypse baby?! I mean what the fuck is that?

There have been many moments since Kingdom Come—some of them better, some of them not-so-much—that I have gotten to enjoy, thanks to this series telling me it was okay to come back. Things will get better. Superman will cut that mullet... or at least consider a pony-tail. Wonder Woman won’t be a complete idiot working at Taco Bell any more. Batman… will still be a dick, but he’ll be right more often. Donna Troy will stop dating Kyle Rayner. Richard Jonathan Grayson will get his own series. Things can only go up from here.

And for that, I am forever in Mr. Waid and Mr. Ross's debt.


Here, here *Clink*!

Plus, a world lived, a world died and nothing was ever the same. And I'm a sucker for that kind of thing.



There you go, kids. Because you demanded it! Well you didn't so much demand it. Second Printings asked an open air question, which I kind of answered. And for that trip down memory lane, I'm in their debt too.

Thanks guys. Cheers in the new endeavor.

Y'know, there is one more….


4/20/08

100% RDA of "Hells Yes!"

So, NYCC is wrapping up right about now. And most of it ends in a resounding meh. The really cool stuff has been teased out the wazoo already anyway. Gail Simone and Nicola Scott on Secret Six?, I mean, who cares right?*

What I really wanted was a break in the conspiracy of silence that typifies Nickelodeon/Viacom's ham-handed mismanagement of the greatest show evar: AVATAR: The Last MFing Airbender! Which I got... in spades! Alright, maybe clubs.

Internets, prepare to be SPOILED (really, you've been warned):

Low Quality=non-negotiable, be grateful for our brothers and sisters who came back from the frontlines with this stuff at all.



It starts in Portugese--as all good things do--with a trailer for The Boiling Rock two-parter. Three episodes beyond anything America has seen:





Suki, sukkahs. Believe it!


Speak of her Kiyoshi Warrioring awesomeness, here's teh hotness in animatic to screen translation:






Now, the BIG FINALE Trailer. Please to buckle your seatbelts, return your seats to the full and upright positions and prepare for face-melting:






Bonus footage: 5 minutes from episode 317 (which is now 6 episodes beyond the American release schedule. But it's hilarious and it's low on spoilers compared to the above. It's mostly a retelling of Season 1 in Fun-a-Round Hilar-i-Vision (patent pending).






Oh, but no information for when it will actually start airing, of course (even the creators don't know apparently). That would mean Nick/Viacom understand how to run a network, or support a fanbase.

However, here's what the last few days have told us by default, dedicated fans and other channels:

1) the third DVD (including 4 episodes that have yet to be released in the US of A) will still be released on May 6. So, I guess just buy the DVD and drive down Nick's Ad-Revenue. Way to overreact to Jamie Lynn Spears' pregnancy A-holes.

2) the Season/Show will be over around/by July. The last DVD will be released end of July.

So, we officially know more about a live action movie to be released in 2010, than we do a cartoon that was due out at the beginning of April. I'd like to have another round of applause for Nick and Viacom who were gift-wrapped a hit show that has succeeded despite their efforts, not because of them.



Info collected and gathered only by the dedicated:

Here is Toon Zone's Report.

Also, please check out Avatar Spirit and reward their diligence with tons of hits and incidentally crash their servers. We're fans, it's what we do. Most of the discussions are being separated by relevence in the Spoilers section of the forum. (Be warned it's a lot of overly-smug Shipping, and "ZOMG Suki!" but the age-range on this show takes all comers, y'know).



*I do, actually that's freakin HUGE. Also, thanks to the hza for the heads up.


3/31/08

Last Week in Comics

Deadlines, deadlines, deadlines. A few more down, a few more to go. I can’t promise I can reliably speak, read or write English anymore, but here goes nothing, and by nothing, I mean: Week Old Comic Reviews!



Countdown #5

Who cares? Glad to see the Great Disaster, only it's clearly not on earth so this is just a waste.

Understand that the Great Disaster could be an awesome story. An unseen sliver of the pre-Crisis DCU. But I just said it right there, no? Pre-Crisis. Not this world or any of the four reboots since.

Was the hope to bring back the multiverse and immediately make us sick of it so we’d want it destroyed again? B/c Final Crisis looks more and more like it’s going to be more about the birth of the Fifth World than multiversal reboots.

So, yeah—buh—what?

Countdown to Adventure #8

meh.

The main story turns out okay, but is little more than a set piece. The primary struggles of the characters were entirely ignorable. Did anyone really believe Buddy had a hard-on for Kori? Are there any two characters with less chemistry? (Although, really, Kori is a chemistry killer). Conversely and more to the point, we all know Buddy to be a family man. And we all knew Rann would learn their lesson in the end, so where did this really go? I’d like to think this story amounted to more than an uncompleted post-script to 52, but I’m not so sure.

Will the Rann/Thanagar: Holy War be any better than the previous go-nowhere stories about this apparently ongoing conflict that seems to stop the minute we take our eyes off it? Does that mean Rann didn’t learn their lesson?

meh.

It was not the worst of the “Countdown to 52 Crossovers” I read, but it wasn’t the best either.

The backup story is full-on retarded. It’s like they forgot they had made this Forerunner character and not-so-quickly recovered by trimming some of Beechen's word count. Forerunner's little space piratey adventure served to explore and illuminate nothing whatsoever. Am I supposed to be happy for her in the end? You know it would help if she had any character to be happy for.

Stories aren’t just things that happen to things. Stories are events with beginnings, middlings and endings that usually progress in a satisfying way until the subject reaches some form of catharsis and/or overcomes something. The reader should generally feel a sense of accomplishment that required this story to do so.

It’s like I’m talking to myself over here.

Green Lantern #29

Cool enough little ditty. A retelling of Hal’s origin, I guess we're in a reiterating origins kind of time. Will this actually tell us anything new or is it just pulling all the bits together so we can all get the jokes contained in Johns’ love letter to that story Alan Moore wrote?

I actually consider this a wasted opportunity. Shouldn’t this be called Green Lantern: Year One and sold for $2.99? Since when are we afraid to sell more books?

I’m not telling DC how to run their business… oh wait, yeah I am.

Legion of Superheroes #40

Continuing a fine tradition of being really cool. Again, LoSH does everything Teen Titans should be doing and doing it better.

It’s a really fun book, and after two issues of presenting Lightning Lad as only slightly smarter than a steel ingot, we get to see why he’s a good leader anyhows:


”Now go to your rooms.”

A lot of fun is had with the original Wolverine, exploring the whys and hows behind the danger of having a barely contained psychotic on your team.


”snikt bub snikt snikt.”

Also… does Jim Shooter have a crush on Karate Kid, or do I?


I believe the term is “woof”.

I love how Triplicate Girl is telling her own self to hush.

Teen Titans #57

Is Rose psychic? Precognitive? Has she always been? Really?


”Really-really?”

This issue spoke a little more of going somewhere, and involved words like believe-in-each-other, benefit-of-the-doubt, and giving-a-fuck-about-Eddie. That's a nice change of pace. Let's do more of that.

McKeever talked me off the ledge a little here. But just a little. Ultimately I can’t fathom not reading a Teen Titans book if one is available, but it has to be better than this. Rose came off as well as intended I’d wager --which is only slightly better than Eliza Dushku* trying to be Faith from Buffy.


”But I’m telling you it doesn’t matter –wait? Did you just have feelings?”

Is it ironic that Wonder Girl is worried about maintaining her new Secret ID enough to yell at Robin for not using it, while talking bald-faced about Titans' business?

"Holy crap is that Wonder Girl and Robin? Oh, no, it's just that new girl Drusilla talking to Tim Drake about being in the Teen Titans."


”Right. Because it’s secret, Robin.”

*My hate for Eliza Dushku is compounded only by how tough she’s trying to act at any given moment.

Mighty Avengers #11

Y'know, I think I stopped reading this last month and forgot. So I read it again this month. I probably should've just skipped it. Not b/c it's bad--it's quite good even--just b/c I don't need it. It's popcorn at best. But hey, sometimes Popcorn is nice.

I’m at least a little glad I picked this up, otherwise I would’ve totally missed Doom gettin’ snippy wit it:


”Fatty fatty two by four, can't fit through the bathroom door!”

Man, someone should've made a "your mom" joke. That would've shut him up.

Since I missed last issue, I had a lot less idea of what was going on. Lucky for me, Doctor Doom is an exposition machine!


(…and then in 1974, Richards totally made with this girl I swear I had a shot with... RICHARDS!!)

I mean that literally. This is a Doom Bot set to catch up any readers that happen by. I understand this feature is present at all Latverian Embassies as well. Unfortunately, they're all programmed by Claremont.

Marty’s Predictable Pick of the Week
Blue Beetle #25

Holy Awesome.

When last we left our hero

It would be folly to try and encapsulate all the Holy Awesome herein. But let’s try a photo-respective:

How I Spent My Summer Vacation


By Jaime Reyes


”Tell your friends”

Is this the most-scanned panel of the week? Probably. Where can I get numbers on that?


”Heard you were some alien hybrid human weapon thing.”
”Got better. Heard your original copyright got pulled.”
”You’re thinking of Pete Cannon.”
"Oh yeah? What happened to him?"
"I think he's dead, actually."

The DCU doesn’t have enough of these conversations, quite frankly.


"Hey C-block --I mean, Fire. I said Fire."

If you want to write an all-new JLI, Rogers, just say so. I'll vote for you.


”You know what, vato, I think we’re gonna skip right over ‘walkin’ softly’. Comprende?”

Best. Supporting. Cast. Ever.


”Hey scarab –scarab? How do you say ‘eat shit and die’in Reachspeak?”

Man, this one little panel speaks volumes. Artfully done.


”Mi Familia.”

It warms the heart. And dig Guy in the background.


”I love the smell of burgers in the morning. Smells like… victory.”

Yeah, everything seems to check out here. All awesome, all the time.

There are at least two big moments I’m not spoiling, even though I really-really wanna. On the off-chance that you haven’t read it yet, but are still reading this, but are gonna read it. Or something.

Thank you again, Mr. Rogers. It’s been a hell of a ride.

Next issue, Traci 13 meets the family. In spanish!



That’s my comics story and I’m sticking to it.